a mermaid's tears (parts six & seven)...

 

"I have had a tremor of bliss,

a wink of heaven, a whisper."

(T.S. Eliot)

 

6.

 

I remember, in dream, no, not dream, a memory...

 

I remember carrying her, shivering,

both of us wet with tears, gently placing her back in the water. Kissing her, holding her.

 

I take from around my neck my silver jigsaw piece,

and I place it in her hand.

 

"Forgive me." There is so much hurt, so much sadness

in her eyes. * We hold each other so, so tight.

 

A wave crashes around us, startling me. I let her go for a

moment. The water subsides. She is gone...

 

She is gone.

 

 

 

 

7.

 

I awake with a start, in the thick of night.

I sense that I am no longer asleep,

that I am no longer in dream.

 

My ears are filled with the sounds of the storm;

Lightning fills the room, thunder rattles the walls!!

A terrible wind is crying, and rain and seawater lashes

at the cottage's fragile window pane.

 

I see waves breaking outside. The glass threatens to break. Another flash of lightning,

and I notice water rushing under my door, quickly

filling the room.

 

My life,

all my worldly possessions

(my books, my music, my clothes & suitcase collection)

are all floating in water...

 

Another flash of silver light. I can feel the thunder

move through my very soul. The water continues to rise,

all that I own swirls around my bed.

 

I feel a sense of panic rise in me...

Yet just as suddenly, I am filled with a sense of calm.

 

The water is seeping into my bed now, rising higher, ever higher. It is surrounding me...

 

I feel it, sense it in the darkness,  as it

begins to wet my lower body, my stomach, my chest...

I feel it slowly move upwards, coating my shoulders, my neck.

 

In the cold and wet and dark, I no longer feel my legs.

Another flash of lightning,

and in the same instant the door crashes open!!

 

All at once now, bluegreen water is everywhere.

My head is underwater! I taste it in my mouth and nose.

Looking up through the glimmer, through the window

I glimpse a shimmer of silver reflected.

 

I reach upwards, and the glass pane gives,

showering the room in water & glass...

 

In fear, and (equally) a last gesture of defiance,

I throw back my blankets.

 

Water fills my eyes now, but I can see so, so clearly.

More clearly than I have ever seen in my life.

 

Looking down, where my legs once were,

I can see the tail of a fish!

 

I smile widely,

open my mouth

and take in water...

 

I breathe water.

 

Where once there was only skin, I can now feel

tiny gills all over my entire body,

opening and closing in the cool water...

 

I thrash my tail, launch myself from the bed,

swirl upwards, the water gliding off my body

makes me feel so alive.

 

I swim for the open door, my entire world is now

a world made of water. Books and suitcases bob about me.

 

I shake off forty four years of

earthly desires and cares...

 

Now I see!

I see what she was trying to show me!!

Why I felt so uncomfortable walking on the beach...

Who I really was all this time.

This is why she had made me feel so safe,

like I had found my way home...

 

I was the same as her!!!

 

I had been dreaming all this time. And in this dream,

I thought I was a man...

 

But I was not. How could I have been so foolish?

Now I finally see why I never felt comfortable with legs.

 

I thrash my tail again, leave the cabin behind me.

All about me is open sea.

 

I am going home...

But in the dark, swirling waters

I am unsure which way to swim...

 

In the darkness, I feel a familiar hand grab tightly

onto my own, gently guide me.

 

At that very moment, I feel her soul in my hand.

 

And at long, long last, I am going home!!

 

I...

Am...

Going...

 

Home!!!

 

 

 

 

(c) Brent M Harpur, 2012.

 

 

- For E. x

* This fable was inspired by your incredible mermaid painting...